he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
It's like God shit irony all over that family
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
