I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
