Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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