Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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