Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
