Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
