I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize