Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
