It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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