If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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