Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
