I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
