We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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