absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You are a genius and a whore.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
