I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
