My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
