But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
