I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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