your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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