his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
