idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It's just like the Real World with babies
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
