Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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