Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
