I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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