I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
