I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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