My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
