The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
