you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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