There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
