i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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