I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
