why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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