Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
