haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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