I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize