Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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