On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
