remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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