absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
This house was built for laser tag.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
