After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize