If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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