I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
