at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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