Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
