Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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