You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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