I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize