He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize