Sacagawea was the original milf.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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