I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
