i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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