My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
