NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize