All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
