I wish my penis had an off switch
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
