...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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