Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
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The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
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I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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