My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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