The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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