Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
