he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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