I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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