he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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