She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
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at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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