Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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